Journey of the Idiots
by XxHeavenHelpUsxX
Summary: Right Eragon's an Idiot. We all know it deep down. Now I've decided to make everyone else in Eragon and Eldest the same. So what will happen to the beautiful land of Alagaesia when all it's inhabitants are idiots? Read and find out.Rated for language.
1. Lost

Chapter 1: Lost

It was two weeks since Eragon had freed Murtagh from Galbatorix's control, and the two brothers were out hunting to get away from the Varden for a while. Eragon woke up to find that Murtagh and Thorn were nowhere to be seen.

"Where have those two gone now?" Eragon asked with a sigh.

" Probably gone to find some Urgals. You know what those two are like." replied a sleepy Saphira.

"I hope they haven't gotten into any more trouble. It would be just like them to get half the kings army after them." said Eragon.

------------------------

Meanwhile Murtagh and Thorn, who had left to have an early morning fly before Eragon woke up, had gotten themselves lost.

"We're lost." stated Thorn. "We are not lost! We just went the wrong way." said Murtagh.

"Sure. Just because you keep saying it doesn't make it true." replied Thorn.

"Shut up, you stupid overgrown lizard!" said Murtagh.

"Well. That's just mean." said Thorn. Murtagh just laughed. "Even in the worst situations you can still make me laugh." said Murtagh. "What are friends for?" replied Thorn. "You mean other to annoy the crap out of you and cause trouble?" said Murtagh, trying hard not to laugh.

"I thought that was your job." replied Thorn grinning.

"Well, you little…" "Murtagh, what's that over there?" interrupted Thorn quickly.

"That would be a tree, Thorn" replied Murtagh. "No, you idiot. Behind the tree!" said Thorn. "Don't call me an idiot Thorn, and I don't see anything." said Murtagh.

"Look closer." replied Thorn. Murtagh walked closer to the tree and looked behind it. "Oh, that can't be good" said Murtagh as the two stared at what was behind the tree.

--------------------------------

Eragon and Saphira were relaxing waiting for Murtagh and Thorn to return. They had been waiting a little over an hour and Eragon was begining to worry.

"Where are they? They should have been back ages ago. What if something happened to them?" asked Eragon in a worried voice. "Nothing happened, they just got delayed that's all." replied Saphira in a calm voice. "Well maybe we should go look for them?" asked Eragon. "If it will make you feel better we can go look for them." replied Saphira. "Thanks" said Eragon, and they left the camp.

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Murtagh and Thorn stared at what was behind the tree.

"It's an elf." said Thorn. "Yeah. I wonder what happened to her?" replied Murtagh. "Is she alive?" asked Thorn. Murtagh knelt down next to the elf and checked her breathing. "Yeah she's alive. Pretty hurt though." replied Murtagh. "We should bring her back to camp." said Thorn. "One problem. We're lost." replied Murtagh.

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After an hour of walking around the forest, Eragon and Saphira still hadn't found Murtagh and Thorn.

"Where could they be?" asked Eragon. Just then he heard a noise behind a tree. He pulled out his sword, that the elves had given him after Murtagh had taken Zar'oc, and pointed it where he heard the noise, when Murtagh and Thorn walked out from behind the tree. Much to Eragon's surprise, Thorn was carrying an elf on his back.

"Murtagh, there you are. We've been looking for you for ages!" said Eragon, looking away from the elf. "Sorry, we got a little bit lost." replied Murtagh. "A little bit?!" asked Thorn, But stopped when Murtagh glared at him. "Yes. A little bit. But during one of our daily arguments, we noticed the elf behind a tree. So we brought her with us." said Murtagh. "Okay. Do you know what happened?" asked Eragon. "We have no idea. We figured we could check it out when we got back to camp." Murtagh replied. "Good idea. Lucky for you two, we know the way." said Eragon. "Oh thank God!" said Murtagh.

----------------------------------------------

When the group had returned to their campsite, Eragon lit a fire, while Murtagh and Saphira tried to contact the elf to find out what had happened. Without much success. "This is hopeless. We are all exhausted. No wonder this isn't working. We should all get some rest, and try again tomorrow." said Saphira. "I agree. We're getting nowhere and we need our energy." said Eragon. "Okay. You're right. We're useless tired." said Murtagh.

They all slept soundly that night and when they woke up, they found they were surrounded by Urgals.

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Hey. I know this is a short chapter, but I couldn't come up with anything else. I know this is a really bad story but it's my first one, and I couldn't think of anything else. And I really wanted to get my first story started. Who knows. It could get Better with practise. Now please review! Constructive criticism is welcome. Thanks for taking time to read.

Selene


	2. The Urgals, The Elf and The Idiot

Authors Note 1:Hallelujah! I'm finally updating! I wonder what's gotten into me. Oh yeah Coke and Red Bull, and lots of it! So I'm very hyper so this is extremely random. I dunno if it's any good though. Right, from now on there will be an "Eragon" quote at the start of the chapters, and they should be updated quicker now I'm on my Summer Holidays.

Authors Note 2: This may be a Murtagh/ Oc fic but if it is it will still be just as silly. Possibly more silly.

I will not be writing any more disclaimers after this.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything "Inheritance related. If I did, Murtagh would be the main character, Durza would be alive and Eragon would be turned into a lump of cheese…..

Quote:

_"There's a reason why we're born with brains in our heads, not rocks." - Brom_

Last Chapter:

They all slept soundly that night and when they woke up, they found they were surrounded by Urgals.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2: The Urgals, The Elf and The Idiot.

"Oh crap! No look what you've got us into Murtagh! It's all your bloody fault!" cried Eragon when he saw the urgals.

" What the fuck do you mean it's all my fault?! It is not my fault! I was asleep!" yelled Murtagh.

"Well maybe you should have been awake!!" screamed Eragon. The two brothers were so busy arguing they forgot about the Urgals. "Well excuse me for doing what you suggested!" shouted Murtagh. "Oh NOW you listen to me!" replied Eragon. "What the fuck?! When I don't listen to you, you lecture me, then when I do listen to you, you lecture me! How the fuck am I supposed to know whether to listen or not!" yelled Murtagh.

Eragon got so scared he ran behind Saphira. A minute later he jumped out and shouted "Engarde you stupid Urgals! Now you're all screwed! Fear the wrath of my lethal weapon!" "Em…Eragon, Why the fuck are you holding a chip?!" asked Murtagh who was now worried for his younger brothers sanity. "Well excuse me for trying to get them to eat something other than us!" replied Eragon. "Okay…But why are you trying to fight them with a McDonalds chip??" asked Murtagh. "It's McDonalds! I mean have you seen how they make their chips?? This chip is a fucking walking heart attack!" Eragon answered. "Wow. A chip walking. Now that's something you don't hear everyday." retorted Murtagh. "Oh fuck off Murtagh!! You're just jealous!" said Eragon. "Why the fuck would I be jealous of a fool with a chip, which he pointed out to be a "walking heart attack"?" asked Murtagh. "Emmm….Shut up Murtagh! Stop being such a bloody smart ass! It's so hurtful!" Eragon sobs Eragon as he ran into the forest. "Well. That was odd." said Saphira while Murtagh and Thorn just started laughing. Saphira started laughing with them. 5 minutes later Saphira stopped. "Why are we laughing?" she asked. "Because, your genius rider just walked into the huge bog full of quicksand that we warned you about yesterday." laughed Murtagh. "HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!" screamed Eragon. This just sent Murtagh and Thorn into more laughter as Saphira stood confused. "Emm.. Murtagh, where'd all the Urgals go?" asked Thorn suspiciously. "Em. I have no fucking idea" replied Murtagh as he looked around for the Urgals. "Well done boys. You finally copped on" said a new female voice. "Oh look the elf's awake." said Thorn. "Wow really? I never would have guessed" replied Murtagh sarcastically. "Children! Act your bloody age not your shoe size!" said the elf. "Sorry. So what's your name?" Murtagh asked curiously.

"My name is Kendra. I am the elf princess of Nadindel. My mother is the Queen Alaria and my father is the late King…"

"Okay, okay we get it sweetheart but spare us your life story." cut off Thorn.

Eragon, who had freed himself from the quicksand, entered the camp and rugby-tackled Murtagh, who wasn't expecting it, to the ground.

The two brothers wrestled one the ground for a few minutes.

After a moment Kendra asked "Shouldn't we break them up? The better-looking one with the black hair might hurt the weak blonde boy."

"While I agree that Murtagh is better looking and Eragon is weak, this is much more amusing than having them glare at each other for hours." replied Thorn.

"Yes. If you ask me this fight is long overdue. Eragon tends to sulk instead of sorting out a problem and when it is someone Murtagh doesn't hate, he usually broods instead of throwing punches. Though he has been known to light people on fire for pissing him off. Isnt that right Thorn?" said Saphira.

"Yeah. Never fuck with a pyro who knows who you are. Especially when that pyro is Murtagh. There was this one soldier in Uru'Baen, I think his name was Jiminy, pissed Murtagh off and Murtagh told him to fuck off, but he wouldn't and Murtagh lit him on fire. Did you ever see a human fireball before??? It's so awesome!! I mean I thought gutting them was fun but turning them into a human fireball rules all!" said Thorn. "Cool. Okay maybe we better break them up now.

By this stage Eragon has a split lip, slightly swollen eye and bloody knuckles while Murtagh had a bleeding nose.

Thorn and Saphira went and broke them up.

"Right. Now that that's over, I wish to know your names." said Kendra.

"Why do you always talk like a posh bitch?" asked Murtagh.

" Sorry. Gotta act like that in Nadindel. Ya know joys of being royalty and that shit. So what are your names?" replied Kendra.

"I like her." said Murtagh. "You only like her because she kicked all the Urgals butts nearly as quick as you would and the whole posh little princess thing was an act." said Thorn.

"So what? She's cool." Murtagh said as he turned back to Kendra. "My name is Murtagh. This idiot here is my little brother Eragon."

He said as he pointed to Eragon. "Hey! That's mean!" said Eragon.

Murtagh ignored him and continued on. "This dragon here is Saphira. She's is Eragon's. I feel really sorry for her." said Murtagh as Eragon growled when he was insulted. "And this is Thorn. He's my dragon." finished Murtagh.

"Nice to meet y'all" said Kendra. She was looking at Murtagh with admiration in her eyes. "Looks like Kendra's in love already" Saphira muttered to Thorn.

"Kendra and Murtagh would make a good couple." he replied.

"What are you two muttering about over there?" asked Eragon.

"Eragon, go mind-rape uh I mean scry Arya again." said Murtagh.

"Okey dokey oh fantastic older brother of mine!" replied Eragon as he skipped, yes skipped, off to "scry" Arya.

"Seriously what the fuck is that kid on? Or more to the point what off? Cuz if he's skippin' his medication again so help me…" said Murtagh.

"I so agree. I mean like one minute he's rugby-tackling you and throwing punches, the next he's calling you fantastic." agreed Kendra.

"Okay, how the fuck does Murtagh get every girl within 20 feet to fall in love with him by just talking?" asked Thorn amazed.

"I don't know but he sure is good." replied Saphira.

"The trick is to NOT be an annoying over-grown talking lizard." said Murtagh who was listening to them talking about him.

"What did you say about me mother??!!!" screamed Thorn.

At that Murtagh and Kendra just collapsed they were laughing so hard.

"What did those young hooligans say about me mother??!! In my day children wouldn't talk to there elders like that. In my day we had to fly 30 miles for a bottle of water! There was none of these fancy "wells" next to our houses and if a child was disobedient it was out on his arse into the cold snow with nothing more than his boxers, and two stale bread crusts!" said Thorn seriously.

By the end of Thorns little speech Murtagh and Kendras lungs had nearly collapsed from laughing so hard. Eragon came out of the forest and yelled "OH MY GOD! THE PIES ARE ATTACKING!!!!!" and ran away and crashed into a tree which knocked him unconscious. Murtagh just said "Idiot"………..

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Right now that's the end of chapter 2! It's not that funny but oh well. I might have another chapter up tonight and if not tonight then tomorrow if I can.

Thanks for reading! Now be a good person and review! I'll give you a cookie!

Next chapter is:

The Varden, A birthday, and a game of "Duck, Duck, Mary Sue!"

Selene


	3. Special Fred

Right. Here I am again!!! Still hyped up on Coke and Red Bull. It's all Hayden's (Silent Bob Is Me) fault. So blame him for the utter stupidity of this chapter. On with the Idiots!

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story except Kendra and maybe a few other ocs. So don't sue.

Quote (Film):

"_Better ask forgiveness than permission." _-Brom

Last Chapter:

Eragon came out of the forest and yelled "OH MY GOD! THE PIES ARE ATTACKING!!!!!" and ran away and crashed into a tree which knocked him unconscious. Murtagh just said "Idiot"………..

Chapter 3. Special Fred

Eragons sudden reappearance and idea of "Pie attacking" sent the rest of the group into reels of laughter.

"So. Maybe we should go back to the Varden now." said Murtagh recovering from his laughter.

"The Varden? Do you know where it is?" asked Kendra.

"Of course. We work for the Varden." replied Murtagh.

"A Rider for the Varden… You're fucking amazing" she said flirtingly.

" Thanks" replied Murtagh.

"Eragon's a Rider for the Varden too." Saphira pointed out.

"So? I've known Eragon for a shorter time than Murtagh and he's clearly an Idiot." replied Kendra.

"You're not wrong." said Thorn.

"Speaking of Eragon being an Idiot, I'd better wake the fucking pixie up." said Murtagh.

Murtagh went over and knelt beside Eragon and poked him in the side of the head. Eragon started talking in his sleep.

"Spiders. Want me to tap-dance. I don't wanna tap-dance" he said.

"What the fuck?!" asked Murtagh.

"I have no idea." said Saphira.

"Spiders?" asked Kendra.

"Spiders?! Where?!" screamed Thorn.

"Okay that's it. Thorn shoulda hatched for Eragon and Saphira shoulda hatched for Murtagh. It's a much better match." said Kendra.

"Maybe, but having Thorn has its upsides. Like when I'm depressed or annoyed he never fails to make me laugh. That and Saphira is the only thing keeping Eragon even mildly sane." replied Murtagh.

" He's right, and keeping Murtagh from being really depressed or pissed is pretty much a full time job." said Thorn knowingly.

"It's true. I get pissed easily. Well, at least when I'm in Uru'Baen." Murtagh replied.

"Yes. Eragon would have gone totally insane by now if I wasn't here." said Saphira.

"Aren't you supposed to be waking him up?" said Kendra turning to Murtagh.

"That was before he freaked me out with the whole "Tap-dancing Spider" thing." Murtagh replied.

"So we just leave him here." said Kendra.

"Fuck no. Someone get me a bucket of water. Cold water." Murtagh said.

Kendra went a got a large bucket of ice-cold water.

"Thankin' you." Murtagh said.

He turned and dumped the entire bucket over Eragons head.

"AAAHHH!!" Eragon screamed as he was soaked in cold water.

"MURTAGH!!" he yelled.

" Yeah?" said Murtagh coolly.

"I am going to kill you." Eragon said trying, and failing to stay calm.

"Oh yeah? Bring it on bitch" Murtagh replied.

Eragon jumped at Murtagh. But unfortunately for Eragon, Murtagh side stepped him and Eragon went flying into the river.

"AAHH!" screamed Eragon again. "I'm all wet!"

"Oh boo frickin' hoo." said Kendra.

"Maybe if you got your lazy ass up when we called you the first time we called you then this wouldn't have happened." said Thorn.

"They're right Eragon. They tried to wake you." said Saphira who was secretly happy that Eragon fell in a river.

"Every bodies out to get me!" wailed Eragon pathetically.

"They sure as hell will be if you keep sounding like a weak child." Murtagh said seriously.

"Okay, okay. Before there's another fight we'd better get going." interrupted Saphira.

"You're right. How will I come? I have no horse or Dragon." said Kendra.

"You can come with me. Just try not to fall off. Or scream. I have a big enough head ache as it is." said Murtagh.

"Thanks a million. I promise I won't." replied Kendra.

"Right let's head off." said Eragon who had just gotten out of the river.

They all headed off and flew from where they were. Where ever that was. All they knew was that they were in the Beor Mountains.

After a few hours Thorn and Saphira began to descend towards the waterfall that was the entrance to the Varden.

"We're back!" yelled Murtagh as they went through the waterfall.

"Murtagh, Eragon. It is good to see you again. And who is this?" Nasuada asked emerging from a door to the right and gestured to Kendra.

"Kendra. Princess of Nadindel." Kendra said shaking Nasuadas hand.

"Nice to meet you Kendra. How did you run into our Rider brothers?" Nasuada inquired.

"Me and Thorn found her when we got a bit lost." Murtagh said.

"A bit lost?! We were more than a bit! We walked around for 4 frickin' hours!" Thorn said.

"Fine, fine. When we got very lost."

"Why did you not fly out?" asked Arya as she descended the staircase.

"Oh no. Little miss loves herself is here." said Murtagh irritably.

"Haha Murtagh. Very funny." said Arya.

"Who's joking?" asked Murtagh.

"Well answer my question then. Why didn't you fly?" she asked again.

"Because, little miss brainy, the trees were to thick to fly out through. Just because Eragon's a fool doesn't mean we all are." Murtagh replied.

Arya glared at Murtagh.

"Are they always like this?" Kendra muttered to Nasuada.

"Pretty much. They used to get along fine. I dunno what happened." replied Nasuada.

"Murtagh! Eragon! You've returned!" yelled Katrina as she ran down the stairs.

When she got to the bottom, she tripped over a loose rock and crashed into Nasuada and they both tumbled into the river behind them. Roran heard the comotion from the kitchens and ran out to see what was going on. When he saw the splashing and everyone else staring at the river he screamed and yelled "NO! The water demons are attacking!!" and he tried to run away only to slip on the wet ground and fall into the river aswell but not before he grabbed Aryas arm to stop his fall. So the both fell in and joined Katrina and Nasuada.

Murtagh sighed as he watched this all happen.

"Can we ever come home without some shit like this happening?" he asked.

"Evidently not." replied Saphira.

Eragon went over to the side of the river to help the others out.

"Ahh fuck it." Murtagh said as he shoved Eragon into the river with the others.

Saphira laughed while Thorn just looked confused.

"Right. I'm tired. I'm going to bed. See you all later."

Said Murtagh as he headed towards the stairs.

When he left everyone managed to get out of the water and dry off.

"In case any of you didn't know, that means you Eragon, tomorrow is Elva's birthday." said Nasuada.

"Really? How come I didn't know?" asked Eragon hurt.

"Nobody did but me. She told me by accident 2 months ago." said Nasuada.

"2 months ago? And you remembered." said Eragon.

"I wanted to remember. She's 10 and we were planning on throwing her a party." replied Nasuada.

"We're going to organise everything tonite." Roran said.

"So would any one be stupid, I mean kind enough to go get Murtagh?" asked Nasuada.

"Someone tell me where his room is and I'll go." volunteered Kendra.

"We are you volunteering?" asked Roran.

"Because he wont hurt me for waking him up." she replied.

"Sure about that?" asked Arya.

"Yup. Now someone tell me where his room is." she said.

"One minute. Murtaghs birthday is next week. He let slip by accident ages ago. So maybe we should do something for him too." Nasuada said.

"He's probably forgotten about his birthday." Eragon said.

"Probably. So what should we do." asked Katrina.

"How old is he?" asked Kendra.

"He'll be 19." said Thorn.

"He hates his birthday." said Eragon.

"Why does he hate it?" asked Roran.

"I don't know but I know he does. I think the best thing to do would be totally ignore it. Or at most say happy birthday to him and hope he doesn't hit us." said Eragon.

"I'd better go get him now. Where's his room?" asked Kendra.

"I'll take you." volunteered Katrina. "But I'm not staying."

"Alright." Kendra replied.

A minute or so later Katrina returned.

"She's just gone to wake him up no." Katrina said when she rejoined the group.

"Good. I hope he doesn't punch her" Roran said.

A few minutes later Kendra returned with a not particularly annoyed Murtagh.

" So what do you need mee for? Kendra said something about Elvas birthday." asked Murtagh.

"Yeah. It's her birthday tomorrow." replied Nasuada.

"So what do we do?" asked Eragon.

Murtagh and Kendra were put in charge of beer and such.

Eragon was on charge of games.

Roran and Katrina were on charge of decorations.

Thorn and Saphira were supervising all this.

Nasuada was on charge of the guest list and Arya was on charge of food.

Everyone did fine with the exception of Arya. She insisted on making her own food. After a long argument Nasuada agreed.

But after 4 hours of trying and failing to make edible food, Arya realised she cant cook to save her life so she just got McDonalds and Dominos much to the relief to the Rider brothers who had been on the receiving end of Aryas cooking before and never wished to go there again. Arya ordered a big cake from Nanny Jesses Cake Company.

The rest of the preparations went by without much trouble.

The next morning Elva woke up to a course of Happy Birthday.

It was an enjoyable morning. Since the food wasn't made by Arya, it was delicious.

Murtagh and Kendra got loads of beer and other drinks.

After the cake, which was also delicious, they played games. Only 2 people didn't join in this, Murtagh and Kendra. They supervised and make sure everyone played fair.

They were always busting Arya and Eragon for cheating.

Even when they weren't. They played loads of games. Twister, which Elva won, monopoly which Roran won, which Arya pointed out to be "Ironic for a poor farm boy", Cludo, which Nasuada won and they finished up with a game of Duck Duck, Goose. Elva was on. She ran around and said "duck for everyone when she ran around the first time the on the second lap she decided to scream "MARY SUE!" instead of Goose when she reached Arya. "I am NOT a Mary Sue!!" screamed Arya.

"Yeah. You really are." said Murtagh from the bench where he and Kendra had been talking.

"NO I AM NOT!" she yelled.

"Yes you are" said Kendra.

"I am not!!! I am elf princess and heir to the throne of Ellesmera! And I just happen to be smart, beautiful, strong when need be and needs to be saved by fools like Eragon a lot!" screamed Arya at Murtagh and Kendra.

"That sound a shit load like a Sue to me." said Murtagh.

"Me too." said Kenda, "Uhh! I can not live like this! I'm going home to my very rich royal family where we rule every one! Oh wait. My mother has only just forgiven me for trading my life to be the hero of many. So I guess I'll stay here amongst the Lower people." said Arya in an important tone.

Then Eragon joined in saying "I don't think Arya is a Mary Sue." "You're just saying that because you like her." said Roran.

"You're a fool Eragon." said Katrina.

Then Murtagh turned around and turned on the cd player and sound of Evanescence's song "Everbody's Fool" blasted through the room.

"Haha very funny Murtagh." said Eragon.

"Just thought it was the right song for the conversation. Unfortunately, I don't think there's a song called "Everybody's Mary Sue" so Arya will just have to live without a song.

"I know a song that suits you Murtagh." said Kendra.

"What is it?" Roran asked.

"It's called "Lucifer's Angel." Kendra replied.

"Oh oh pick me, pick me!" said Katrina excitedly.

"Katrina, this isn't school honey, you don't have to raise your hand." said Kendra kindly.

"Sorry. I just wanna say that I know a song that suits Eragon too! It's called "Special Fred!" Here we'll see what you think!" Katrina said as she started singing

"_When I was,  
A boy of ten  
I had a very best friend_

_Fred was kind  
with good intent  
but just a little different_

_Oooh, Special Fred  
mama dropped him on his head  
now he's not so bright instead  
he's a little bit special  
just a little bit_

_We'd play tag  
and he'd get hurt  
I'd play a soldier  
he'd eat dirt_

_I liked math,  
and spelling bees  
Fred liked talking to a tree_

_ooh special Fred  
Mama dropped him on his head  
now she keeps him in the shed  
cuz he's a little bit special  
just a little bit_

_I ran track,  
hung out at malls  
Fred ran headfirst  
into walls_

_I had girls  
and lots of clothes  
Fred had names  
for all his toes_

_ooh special Fred  
mama dropped him on his head  
now he thinks  
he's a piece of bread  
cuz he's a little bit special  
just a little bit_

_one day, when talking to special Fred,  
he grabbed a brick and he swung at my head  
and as he laughed at me  
that's when I knew  
special Fred just made  
me special toooo!_

_Now I laugh as I count bugs  
I give strangers great big hugs  
next to me, Fred is fine  
yeah, he's a fuckin Einstein  
ooh special Fred,  
now we're not right in the head  
now we're not so bright instead  
we're a little bit special  
just a little bit special  
that fucker Fred made me special  
just a little bit_

_Special"_

"So what do ya think? I think it suits him" said Katrina not noticing Murtagh, Roran, Kendra, Nasuada, the Dragons and Elva on the ground laughing so hard.

"So fuckin' true! I've never heard anything that described Eragon better!" laughed Murtagh.

"Hey! That wasn't very nice!" sobbed Eragon as he ran into the next room and sat on the corner crying.

"Way to prove me right Eragon." said Murtagh.

That's the end of chapter 3! It's much longer than any of my other chapters but I just couldn't stop writing. Hope you all liked it! Review!

Selene


	4. The Spider and the Cheese Monkeys

A/N: What in the world has gotten into me? 2 updates in 1 day? Amazing. This chapter is bad. But I'm thinking of writing a one shot about Kendra and her feelings for Murtagh and a non humour story about them. Well, here's the idiots!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. (sob).Ok I own Kendra but other than her nothing! Christopher Paolini didn't give them to me for my birthday. (more sobs) Lol.

Quote (film):

"_That's the Spirit. One part brave, three parts fool" _-Brom

Chapter 4: The Spider and the Cheese Monkeys

A week after Elvas 10th birthday party was Murtaghs 19th birthday. The night before his birthday, Kendra had built up the courage, or stupidity she needed to approach Murtagh about why he hated his birthday. Needless to say she was slightly worried about asking him about it. Slightly worried? More like piss herself she was so scared. What would he do? Stab her? Light her on fire like he did to Jiminy? Punch her so hard she'd forget her own name? Or the least likely, answer her.

She wasn't sure if she wanted to find Murtagh or not.

She opened Murtaghs bedroom door.

Just her luck. There he was sitting on the bed.

Reading Stephen Kings "The Shining".

"Hey Murtagh" she said.

"Yo" he replied without even looking up.

"Any chance we could talk for a while" She asked.

"Bout what?" he replied.

Just as she was about to reply, Eragon crashed into the room and screamed "The British are Coming!!" (No offence to any British people.)

Murtagh and Kendra just stared at him as he "forgot" to stop and kept running towards the open window.

When he realised when he was running it was to late to stop.

He fell out of the 4-story window with a crash.

Murtagh and Kendra ran to the window and saw Eragon smack into the ground.

"Ouch. That's gonna hurt in the morning'" said Murtagh.

"Fuck the morning, that's gonna hurt now." said Kendra.

Murtagh nodded in agreement.

"Oh well. He'll live. I've put him through worse shit than falling out a 4-story window." said Murtagh.

"Really? Like what?" asked Kendra curiously.

"I find it hard to believe you came to talk about the shit I've put my brother through." answered Murtagh.

"Well about that…" Kendra was cut of by a high pitched scream coming from the kitchens. They both ran out of the room and down and into the kitchen to see Roran cowering in the corner.

"Roran. What the fuck is going on?" asked Murtagh.

Roran pointed to the sink warily.

Murtagh sighed and walked over to the sink.

He looked into the sink and laughed.

"It's not funny!" screamed Roran.

"Not funny? It's fuckin' hilarious!" laughed Murtagh.

"What is it?" Kendra asked.

"It's a fuckin' spider!" Murtagh said still laughing.

"A spider?" Kendra said as she started laughing too.

"A spider made you scream like a little girl?!" said Murtagh mildly seriously.

"Did you see that thing?! It's huge!" said Roran.

Katrina walked in and went to see what they were looking at.

"Oh look! A spider! Aww. He's so cute!" Katrina said as she picked up the spider and put him in a jar.

Murtagh and Kendra laughed harder and Roran looked horrified.

"I think I'll call you Spidey" Katrina said as she looked lovingly at the spider.

"Looks like you have some competition Roran." said Murtagh laughing.

Roran just glared at "Spidey"

"If looks could maim!" laughed Kendra.

"Fuck off ye two. Now it's personal." Roran said, his eyes never leaving the spider. If they didn't know better they'd have thought the spider was laughing at Roran.

Roran apparently, didn't know better.

"Ohh it's on!" he said in a challenging tone.

"Okay, I'm am not related to him." said Murtagh.

The second he finished Eragon ran into the kitchen.

"CHEESE MONKEY!!" he yelled before he ran back out.

"Are you still related to Eragon?" Kendra asked Murtagh who was staring at the door with a horrified look on his face.

"Eragon who?" he replied. Kendra laughed.

"Right. Just to stop me murdering me little brother, I'm gonna go out and kill some Raa'zak." Murtagh said.

"Okay. We can talk later." replied Kendra.

She'd never got to ask him about birthdays.

"Cheese Monkey?" she said to herself as she went to her room which was next to Murtaghs with Arya to her other side and Eragon to Murtaghs other side.

A few hours later she heard Murtagh return.

She got up and went to his room.

"Hi. How was the Raa'zak hunting?" she asked.

"Grand. Killed about a dozen. One of the stabbed me in the arm. But hey I've had worse." he replied.

"So about what I wanted to talk about earlier." she said.

"What?" he asked.

"Well, Someone told me it was your birthday tomorrow." she said carefully.

"And who might that have been?" asked Murtagh.

"Nasuada." she answered.

"Hmm" said Murtagh.

"Eragon said you hated your birthday. I was just wondering why." she said.

"I have my reasons. I never really liked them to begin with but my third and forth birthdays were 2 of my worst days ever." he replied.

"What happened." she asked knowing she was pushing her luck.

"My third birthday I had a sword thrown at me which nearly killed me, and my fourth birthday- two days after my mother returned - she died. Now do you understand? And my 13th wasn't exactly good either." Murtagh answered much to Kendras surprise.

"Yeah. I understand. What happened on your 13th?" she asked wondering if she'd get an answer.

"First time I killed a man. Damn he deserved it though. Urgals, yeah I've been killing them since I was 11 but 13 was the first time I killed a man." Murtagh replied.

"Why did you kill him? What did he do?" Kendra asked him.

"He tried to kill us. Tornac, my friend Fionn and I were in the forest with 3 other men. We were playing a game of Manhunt. Good game. But my team were hiding. Tornac was on the river bank, Fionn was in a bush and I was hidden in a really high tree that no one else could climb as high as me in.

We could all see each other because we knew where to look. Tornac was the easiest to see. Some thief saw him. Fought him. We just watched. Tornac won easily.

But had a moment of kindness. He tried to help the man up. He did and the man pushed him against the tree and went to stab him.

I jumped out of the tree and hit the man in the back.

He turned around and said I had no chance against him. We fought. I kicked his ass. Stabbed him half by accident.

And as he died he asked how did a kid beat him. Then he died. And I didn't care.

Tornac dumped his body in the bush and left it there.

Then we went back to our hiding places and kept playing like nothing had happened. I never cared, and I still don't." answered Murtagh.

" That's a sad story." Said Kendra.

"The fucker tried to kill us. So I bet him to it." replied Murtagh. "Now anything else you wanted to know?" He asked.

"No" Kendra. "Good. Night." He said. Kendra left.

"Whoa. And I thought my life was fucked." she said to herself.

The next morning they were all woken by the sound of Eragon singing "Irish Rover" by the Pogues and the Dubliners.

"_On the Fourth of July, 1806  
We set sail from the sweet cove of Cork  
We were sailing away with a cargo of bricks  
For the Grand City Hall in New York  
'Twas a wonderful craft  
She was rigged fore and aft  
And oh, how the wild wind drove her  
She stood several blasts  
She had twenty seven masts  
And they called her The Irish Rover"_

"ERAGON!!, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Murtagh yelled as he got up. "Damn that kid can't sing." he said to himself.

"Good morning Murtagh." Thorn said to his Rider.

"Marnin" Murtagh replied.

"Are you still tired?" asked Thorn.

"Yes. I didn't get to sleep till late and my little brothers terrible singing woke me up." replied Murtagh.

"Happy Birthday Murtagh." Thorn said.

Murtagh groaned. "I hate birthdays." he said..

"No. You hate your birthday." said Thorn.

"Yeah…" Murtagh said.

"_And he rolled the dames under and over  
They all knew at a glance  
When he took up his stance  
That he sailed in The Irish Rover" _Eragon sang.

"Right that's it. That kid's going down." said Murtagh as he ran out of the room.

"_There was Barney McGee  
From the banks of the Lee  
There was Hogan from County Tyr…." _

Eragon was cut off as Murtagh rugby-tackled him and the two fell down the stairs throwing punches at each other.

Kendra and Arya emerged from there rooms and saw Eragon and Murtagh killing each other.

The two women laughed.

"Men." they said at the same time.

They smiled at each other and went to freshen up.

Nasuada came out of her study to see what all the commotion was.

"Murtagh! Eragon! Stop this at once!" she screamed.

The two brothers payed no attention to her.

"BOYS!" she yelled again but received the same reaction.

"Okay. That's it." She said as she screamed at the top of her lungs. Which was very loud. The brothers stop fighting and got up with their hands over their ears.

"Good now what were you two fighting because of in the first place?" asked Nasuada.

"He attacked me!" said Eragon.

"That fool wouldn't stop singing! I told him to shut up but he wouldn't listen. I mean have you heard his singing?! It's sounds like Galbatorix!" Murtagh said.

"Well done Nasuada. You got them to stop." said Kendra descending the staircase to the three of them.

"It involved screaming at the top of my lungs." answered Nasuada.

"We are still here ya know!" said Eragon.

"No your not." said Murtagh as he pushed Eragon into the river again.

"Well. That worked." he said as he went back up the stairs.

"Eragon. Are you alright?" asked Saphira.

"Yes. Just cold." Eragon answered.

"Damn. Oh I mean good!" said Saphira in a fake pleased voice.

Eragon glared at her.

"Is there something wrong with your eyes Eragon? You're squinting a lot." asked Kendra.

"I'm glaring genius." said Eragon.

"Oh well that's rich coming from Brain Trust." retorted Kendra.

"I'm going to find Murtagh." she finished.

As she walked up the stairs her thoughts strayed to Murtagh.

"Damn. Do I like him as a friend??? Or as something more? Well that's a dumb question. I like him as more than a friend. Or do I? Yes I really do. Oh shit I'm arguing with my self! That cant be good!" she thought to herself.

"You know talking to yourself is the first sign of madness. Arguing with yourself is the second." Thorn projected his thoughts into Kendras head.

"Oh really? And have you been listening to all of that?"

"If it's true that arguing with yourself is the second sign of madness, then Murtagh's totally insane. And yes I was listening." said Thorn.

"Great. Now you know I like Murtagh." she said irritably.

"I've known for a long time. That just confirmed it." replied Thorn.

"So what should I do?" she asked.

"Nothing. At least not yet. I can find out if he likes you first. I'm already pretty sure he does." replied Thorn.

"Why do you think that?" asked Kendra hopefully.

"Because, sweetheart, if anyone else had asked Murtagh why he hated his birthday he would have told them to fuck off. He never would have actually told someone that." He answered.

"Thanks Thorn." said Kendra.

"For what?" Thorn asked.

"Thanks. Just thanks." she replied as she walked into her room.

"Well that was odd." said Thorn.

"Nice girl." said Saphira.

"Yeah." he replied.

"Eragon is still obsessed with Arya. He seems convinced that Arya is just playing hard to get. She's not though. Eragon is just going to get hurt again." said Saphira.

"Yeah he will. He should just give up." replied Thorn.

"He wont. He'll give up on everything except Arya. Well Arya and that Galbatorix has "Cheese Monkeys" that he's planning on sending out to kill us all." Saphira said.

"Ha. Eragon really is a fool." Thorn laughed.

"Yes but he's the opposite to Murtagh and it's always interesting to watch them clash." Saphira replied.

"So so true." Thorn said as he drifted off to sleep.

Outside the Dragon Hold near the lake, Eragon was waiting for Arya to tell her, yet again, how he felt about her.

There's Chapter 4 up! I might update tomorrow if I have a chance. I'm in Ireland so the times are different. I don't particularly like this chapter. I think it could be much better. But ohh well. This is my 3rd update in 2 days. So I'm doing pretty well. Let me know what ya think! And let me know if you think I should do a Kendra One-Shot and a Non-humour Kendra/Murtagh fic.

Thanks!


	5. Rehab

A/n: I'm back!!! With a new chapter! And many thanks to Q's Little Girl and Bill Preston for some of the ideas in this chapter. Also thanks to everyone who reviewed! You all make me so happy! Also as I have said in "Murtagh Morzansson. This is my life" that Cheese will be my divider, in this, Pie will be my divider!!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Kendra, a few stoners and the people in the Store! Damn I really wish I owned Murtagh. That would be so awesome!

_Quote:_

_"Why are you here?" The Shade looked at him with contempt in his red eyes and smiled. "To gloat, of course. What use is a victory if one cannot enjoy it?" - Eragon and Durza._

Chapter 5: Rehab.

"Hmmm. Where in Helzvog's name could Arya be? Why would she late for a meeting with me? Ohh well she's just playing hard to get again. I'll wait. I have nothing else to do with my extremely interesting life." Eragon said to himself as he sat next to the pond.

Arya strolled around the corner and sat down across from him on a large rock.

"Hey Eragon. Now what did you want." She said as she settled down.

"I wanted to tell you I love you…..Again." he replied hopefully.

"Haha Eragon likes a girl!!" She answered laughing.

"Why do you have to be so mean?!" Eragon cried.

"I don't. Just to you." She replied.

"Bye Bye." She said as she pushed him into the pond.

"AHHHHH!!!! I'm all wet!" Eragon said as he began crying loudly. Very loudly.

"Haha you're wet!" Arya screamed as she ran off and left Eragon trying to swim.

ApplePieApplePieApplePieApplePie

"Emm. What the hell is going on?!" asked Murtagh as he came down to see a crowd cheering in a circle.

"They're watching a fight" said Kendra.

"What fight?" He asked curiously.

"Emm. Roran and "Spidey"" she answered.

"Roran and Spidey? Please tell me I misheard you." he replied.

"No. You heard right." she said.

"My family are retards." he said as he walked to the front of the crowd.

"At least I don't have 8 legs!" Roran screamed at Spidey.

"Still not talking eh?! 8-legged-freak!" he kept screaming.

"Well, well… You have funny eyes!!" Roran yelled.

"Ohh you did not just say that to me you fuckin' spider!!"

"Emm. Roran? He didn't say anything. He's a Spider." Murtagh interrupted.

"Stay out of this Murtagh!! This is personal!" Roran screamed and went silent for a second.

"Well, Screw You!!" He screamed at the Spidey and he stomped off to pout.

"Murtagh, is it just me or is Spidey laughing at Roran?" Kendra asked a very confused Murtagh.

"At this stage nothing could surprise me." he answered as

Arya ran past screaming "Eragon's wet!!!".

"Even that?" asked Kendra.

Murtagh sighed. "No. Not surprised" he said.

ApplePieApplePieApplePieApplePie

While the Spider "incident" was occurring, Eragon had gotten out of the river and made his way to a Liquor Store.

He had a bag over his hand as he walked in.

"Great. Now I'm in such an Evil mood, I'm going to rob this Liquor Store" He said to himself as he walked in.

"Everybody freeze this is a hold-up!" He yelled as he walked in and pulled the bag off his hand revealing, wait for it, wait for it, a Water gun!! "Don't make me use this! Now give me the money!" He yelled.

"Mommy? What is that man doing with the water gun?" a small child in the corner of the shop asked his mother.

"Never mind Seany. He's insane. He must be the mental hospital escapee." Seany's mother replied.

"Damn it woman, I will use this!" yelled Eragon at the woman behind the counter.

She just stared at him.

"I didn't want to have to resort to this but you give me no choice! Haha!" He said as he squirted her with the gun.

"Sir, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The woman said.

"NEVER!!! Haha!!" he screamed.

"Sir you're shouting again. Please stop shouting." The woman replied.

"NO!! I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!!!" he yelled even louder.

"OK. That's it. SECURITY!!" she screamed for the security man to call Murtagh and get "The Blondie fool" out of here.

ApplePieApplePieApplePie

A very pissed Murtagh drove up in a 1969 Dodge Charger R/T (Lovely Car. One of My Faves.) to the store and walked into the back room and apologised and dragged Eragon out of the store by his blonde hair.

He threw him into the back of the car and got in the front himself and started driving.

"Right. Eragon, You're going to Rehab and that's the end. I don't give two shits what you say. You're going." Murtagh said in a pissed off tone.

"NNNNOOOO!!!" Eragon cried in the back seat.

ApplePieApplePieApplePieApplePie

When they returned to the Varden Murtagh pushed Eragon to through the entrance and sent him to his room.

"So. What's the plan now?" asked Kendra as she emerged from the kitchens.

"Well, I said I was sending him to Rehab because he's obviously high as a fuckin' kite, but maybe that's a little harsh?"

"Maybe. Lets go and tell him he might not have to go." Kendra replied and the two started up the stairs.

They reached Eragon's room and walked in. But the sight they saw was terrifically disturbing.

Eragon was wearing a pink mini-skirt and a pale-blue strapless top with knee-high black leather boots with 8-inch heels.

And what makes it even worse, he was singing.

"_They tried to make me go to rehab  
I said no, no, no.  
Yes I been black, but when I come back  
You wont know, know, know._

_I aint got the time,  
And if my daddy thinks I'm fine  
They're trying to make me go to rehab  
I wont go, go, go._

_They tried to make me go to rehab  
I said no, no, no"_

Eragon sang at the top of his voice into the karaoke machine.

"…….." Kendra said.

"He is so outta here." Murtagh said and he turned and went to go and call the Rehab clinic.

Kendra backed away from the extremely scary scene and ran down the steps.

"Damn. And they said "The Blair Witch Project" was scary shit……" she muttered.

ApplePieApplePieApplePieApplePie

_At Rehab:_

"Hi Everybody!"

"Hi Dr. Mick!"

"Today I want everyone to introduce themselves and tell us why they're here." Dr. Mick said to the group.

"We'll start here" He said pointing to a girl in her 20s.

"Right. I'm, like, Lizzy. I'm, like, 22. I'm, like, kinda, like, a stoner. Ya know like?" Lizzy said.

"They went in a clockwise direction which meant they would be ending with Eragon.

"I'm Jimmi. I'm here because I took a fuck-load of pot and was stoned and then went and held up a bank." Said Jimmi.

"I'm Sean. I'm a street racer. I was sent to Tokyo and still kept racing then I got into drugs and I kinda went on a cop-car fuck-up." Sean said.

"I'm Eragon. I got high on something I can't remember and then I went and held up a Liquor Store with a Water-gun and then they got pissed and then they called my brother and then he said he was gonna send me here and I got sent to my room and then my Brother and our friend Kendra came up for some reason and I was in my room in a pink mini-skirt and really high leather heels and I was singing "Rehab" and then my Brother brought me here and on the way I asked why I was going here and he said "Because I aint puttin' up with your shite anymore." and here I am." Eragon said.

"Alright…… That's a very … colourful story." Said Dr. Mick.

"Colourful and Fucked-Up." said Jimmi.

"Amen to that." joined Sean.

"And I thought like my life was like fucked." said Lizzy.

"Yeah my life is weird. Murtagh says that it's no wonder mom left me and went back to him in the castle and….."Eragon began.

"Did you ever get punched in the face for talking too much?" interrupted Sean.

"Emmm. No. Why?" asked Eragon.

"Surprising. I thought people would be lining up to punch you.

Oh well. There's a first time for everything……" Sean replied.

ApplePieApplePieApplePieApplePie

A/n: There's chapter 5 finished. More thanks to Bill Preston and Q's Little Girl.

So will Eragon survive Rehab and Sean? Will Murtagh manage to get his sanity back? Will Roran finally get his revenge on Spidey? No one knows… Not even me…..

Thanks for reading!

Dragon Rider Murtagh.


	6. Expect the Unexpected

A/n: Hey there people. You're all probably gonna hate me by the end of this chapter. But stay with me and check for another story soon. Really sorry peoples but I really have to do this.

Disclaimer: Must I do this every chapter ? I do not own anything but Spidey, the Stoners, Paddy and Kendra.

PLEASE READ THE AURTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END. IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT!

Chapter 6: Expect the Unexpected

--Back at the Varden--

"So. Do you think Eragon will survive Rehab?" Kendra asked a seemingly relaxed Murtagh.

"God, I hope not. He's been doing my head in since I got free from Galbatorix. I never thought I'd miss Uru'baen. Ever."

He replied as he put his feet up on the table.

"Feet off the table!" said Roran as he entered the room and hit Murtagh feet off the table.

"Oh don't you have a spider to be threatened by?" Murtagh asked irritably.

"Not until 3." Roran replied.

"What happens at 3?" asked Kendra.

"What do you mean 3? Where did 3 come from? What are you on woman?" replied Roran as he left the room.

"Emm. That was odd." said Kendra.

"It's Roran. What's new?" Murtagh answered as someone knocked on the door. He got up to answer it.

"Hello." Murtagh said to the young woman standing at the door.

"Al-right... I'm here to join the Varden" the girl replied as she looked at the note in her hand.

"Sorry miss. What's your name?" Murtagh asked again.

"Lauren." Lauren replied as she walked past Murtagh.

"Ahh Lauren. You're here. Although we were expecting you yesterday." Nasuada said as she came in through another door.

" Well right. Ryan went and had this party last night. And he didn't invite me right. But, I went with Liese anyway right and Ryan came up to me and told me to get out and I sat there, and said "what?" Then Liese said "she don't have to go Ryan." and he said "Yeah she does. I don't want her here." and I'm just sittin' there like "Am I bovvered? Look at my face. Does my face look bovvered? It don't look bovvered 'cause I aint bovvered!" and I left which is great, 'cause it was mushup." Lauren said.

"Well. Alright then. I gotta go get Eragon." Murtagh said as he left the room.

"Is everyone here like him?" Lauren asked.

"Well no." Kendra replied.

"Am I bovvered?" asked Lauren as she walked off.

"Why does the Varden attract all the weirdos?" asked Kendra.

"Are you callin' me a whino?!" Lauren shouted.

ApplePieApplePieApplePieApplePie

--At Rehab--

"Well class. What did we learn today?" asked Dr. Mick.

"That Sean's fists hurt." Eragon muttered nursing his still heavily bleeding nose.

"What was that Eragon?" asked Sean flexing his hand.

"Nothing!" said Eragon quickly.

"Good." replied Sean.

"I learnt that people that go to Rehab, like, just, like, end up even bigger stoners, like." Said Lizzy as she leant back on her chair.

"I learnt that if you ever need pot, booze or gambling then go to a Rehab clinic." said Jimmi.

"Can we go now?" asked Sean.

"You may leave. Back here same time next week." Dr Mick said as he left the room with Eragon close behind him to get away from Sean.

Eragon ran as fast as he could. Problem was, he was still looking behind him. Resulting in him smacking in to tree.

"Ouff." he said as he tried to pick himself up off the ground.

"Double ouff." he said as he slipped and hit the ground again.

"Top off the morning to ya." said a little ginger man wearing all green.

"Am I dead? Are you Santa?" asked Eragon.

"No laddy. You aint dead and I aint Santa." replied the little man.

"Then who are you? And why are you here?" asked Eragon again.

"Aye, I'm Paddy the Leprechaun and I'm not here. You're just crazy." replied Paddy the Leprechaun.

"Okey dokey then. That makes no sense to me. So it must be true!" Eragon said.

"Aye. Now you're getting' it! For that, I will grant you one wish." said Paddy.

"Wow. Really?" asked Eragon.

"Nah not really laddy. I just like messin' with the crazy peoples that come to me." Paddy laughed as he skipped off over the rainbow.

"Wow. I was just outsmarted by a Leprechaun called Paddy. Weird." said Eragon as he fell back into unconsciousness.

"Eragon!"

Eragon groaned.

"Eragon!"

Eragon groaned again.

"Eragon! Wake up before I kill you!"

"Murtagh?" Eragon asked.

"Well no shit Sherlock." Murtagh replied.

"Now get up off your arse and into the car."

Eragon sighed as he got into the car and they drove back towards the mountain.

ApplePieApplePieApplePieApplePie

--The Kitchens--

"Make your move Spidey. Cuz it's the last one you're gonna make." said Roran.

Spidey glared at him and extended one hairy leg and moved.

"Checkmate" Roran could almost hear Spidey saying.

"NO! How did you beat me?! You cheated! I will kill you, you damn Spider.

Don't laugh at me! I will beat you, damn it! I demand a rematch!"

Roran screamed.

Spidey looked at him and Roran was sure he heard a sigh.

ApplePieApplePieApplePieApplePie.

--The Lounge--

"Where are Murtagh and Eragon?" Nasuada thought to herself.

Lauren and Kendra had been screaming at each other for the last hour.

Just on cue, the brothers walked in.

"I've decided that Eragon doesn't have to go to Rehab anymore." Murtagh announced.

"Okay." said Kendra removing herself from the shouting match.

"Who's the girl in the weird clothes?" asked Eragon pointing at Lauren.

"Are you disrespecting me?! Are you callin' me a pikey?! Are you disrespecting my Family? Are you callin' my mum poor?!" Lauren screamed at Eragon.

"Eeep." Eragon replied as he hid under the table.

CRASH!!! A huge bang was heard from the kitchen.

The group ran in to find the table flung across the room and Roran cornering Spidey into the corner of the room.

"Damn you Spidey! You steal my girlfriend, my dignity and then beat me at chess! I won't have it!" Roran yelled as he brought the newspaper down.

SPLAT!

ApplePieApplePieApplePieApplePie

A/n:

Lauren is obviously Lauren Cooper of "The Catherine Tate Show".

I told you that you'd all hate me.

That's the end of Journey of the Idiots. Check my page every now and then. You might just get a pleasant surprise if you liked this story.

Roran won, Spidey lost. The end of the possible epic war that could have occurred. Spidey's finished. Or is he? Is the story of Roran and Spidey really over? Or is it only beginning?

Dragon Rider Murtagh


End file.
